@READ EBOOK Å Seriously... I'm Kidding ß eBook or E-pub free

Ellen DeGeneresI listened to the audio version of this book and it s a lot like watching Ellen talk on her television show lots of casual, humorous observations about everyday life Ellen riffs on a wide variety of random topics, seemingly whatever pops into her head at the moment For example People who are late for dinner parties it s rude and may lead to the hosts being in their pajamas by the time dinner ends.Being a Cover Girl model it s hard being beautiful.Coming out as gay she s Ellen DeGeneresI listened to the audio version of this book and it s a lot like watching Ellen talk on her television show lots of casual, humorous observations about everyday life Ellen riffs on a wide variety of random topics, seemingly whatever pops into her head at the moment For example People who are late for dinner parties it s rude and may lead to the hosts being in their pajamas by the time dinner ends.Being a Cover Girl model it s hard being beautiful.Coming out as gay she s too gay for some people and not gay enough for others magazine polls that are bonkers how far would you take the fashionable color green all the way half way would you marry it when will a sequel finally be made to the hit movie Finding Nemo in which Ellen voiced Dory.of course a sequel has now been made LOL and much.Finding Dory the sequel to Finding NemoMy favorite chapter is Ellen s satirical, funny letter to the security department of a mall where it s been suggested she broke a vase in a Pottery Barn store Her explanation of how this happened and how it s not her fault is hilarious A tip if you re in a mall, don t swipe a security guard s segway, accidently ride it all over the mall, try to return it to a dumpster out back, fall asleep on a sofa in Pottery barn, become startled awake, fall off, and dislodge cushions that fly off to break a vase And that s not even the half of it.This is a light, fun book, and the audio version is perfect for doing chores or listening to in the car.You can follow my reviews at 2 stars I would like to start off by saying that I like Ellen a lot That s why I decided to read one of her books She s fun and seems like a genuinely lovely person UPDATE Lately, I keep hearing that she s actually not that great in real life Idk what to think..AnywayWhile listening to this, I felt like I was being messed with or mocked The audiobook is read by Ellen herself, which was nice But 90 percent of the time I felt like she was just rambling To give you an example for 2 stars I would like to start off by saying that I like Ellen a lot That s why I decided to read one of her books She s fun and seems like a genuinely lovely person UPDATE Lately, I keep hearing that she s actually not that great in real life Idk what to think..AnywayWhile listening to this, I felt like I was being messed with or mocked The audiobook is read by Ellen herself, which was nice But 90 percent of the time I felt like she was just rambling To give you an example for a whole minute, she talks about a word she wrote down in some notes and wonders what it says From there she basically just says a bunch of random words with no meaning whatsoever, then asks herself if it even is her handwriting All this to eventually end up eating an apple So I listened to Ellen eat an apple for 28 seconds WHAT KIND OF JOKE IS THIS I know that it s comedy and that it s all supposed to be taken with a grain of salt, I just couldn t help but roll my eyes and even cringe for the most part It felt like she had no idea what to write in this book, so she just talks about meaningless things to get down to a certain word count You know Maybe I m not getting it.Maybe it s just not my type of humor Idk, but I don t think this is a very good book.Sorry, Ellen I still like you and your show, though @READ EBOOK ä Seriously... I'm Kidding ë Sometimes the greatest things are the most embarrassing Ellen Degeneres winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient and honored daytime shows on the air To date, it has won no fewer thanEmmys Seriously I m Kidding, Degeneres first book in eight years, brings us up to date about the life of a kindhearted woman who bowed out of American Idol because she didn t want to be mean Lively hilarious often sweetly poignant Ellen DeGeneres is a beloved stand up comedian, television host, bestselling author, and actress She hosts the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, i enjoyed this book so much i love Ellen i watch her show she is so funny , one of my favourite chapters, What Would Jesus Do All these polls do is make everyone so judgmental And I don t believe in judgment Unless is judgment of judgment I don t think someone has to wear something better or have a better hairstyle That s why the Ellen DeGeneres is a beloved stand up comedian, television host, bestselling author, and actress She hosts the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, i enjoyed this book so much i love Ellen i watch her show she is so funny , one of my favourite chapters, What Would Jesus Do All these polls do is make everyone so judgmental And I don t believe in judgment Unless is judgment of judgment I don t think someone has to wear something better or have a better hairstyle That s why the word different exists in our language.The wisdom she does have to offer is amazing for example her approach to aging, I don t know at what age people stop wanting to be older, the 53 year old writes It must be around 40, when you re over the hill I don t even know what that means and why it s a bad thing When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I m past the hard part and there s a snack in my future It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves I picked up this audiobook in hopes of it lifting up my spirits while I had a cold And for the first two out of three hours it did its job I laughed heartily while getting to forget for a minute that I was feeling awful And two passages in particular really stayed with me.One for being wittyDo things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system And the other for being relatableLeaning forward in your chIt always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves I picked up this audiobook in hopes of it lifting up my spirits while I had a cold And for the first two out of three hours it did its job I laughed heartily while getting to forget for a minute that I was feeling awful And two passages in particular really stayed with me.One for being wittyDo things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system And the other for being relatableLeaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn t enough You also have to move the chairThere s quite a few things I was to discuss, so let s start with the things I enjoyed The comedic timing The author sharing details and the behind the scenes of her talk show, interviewing guests and how she needs to keep talking and talking and talking for hours how the audiobook had certain chapters that got background noises, such as beach waves, rain drops, casino noises DeGeneres repeatedly mentioning her want for a Nemo sequel when she talked about the environment, coming out, being happy, veganism, and becoming a cover girl.But I feel like everything that was important was glossed over Meanwhile, the topics that contributed nothingthan to pass the time were elaborated onthan necessary Real talk you can quit listening after two hours because nothing meaningful is said after We have chapters about math equations and counting to help the listeners fall asleep making up a dream where the listener is a reptile deciding to eat an apple instead of reading the chapter about text abbreviations really making strange noises with her mouth just for the audio listeners I wish I were kidding, but I can t make this shit up I had to put the volume on low so my mom wouldn t think I was actually listening to someone making weird noises in an audiobook also, on a totally separate note, I kind of hated how the author kept bashing social media and using the phrase technology is destroying our social skills To quote this article, technology doesn t make us less social it just changes the way we socialise And I d recommend watching this brilliant episode from the show Black ish discuss this topic as well And most importantly, her white privilege kept showing throughout without being examinedSimply put, a lot of chapters felt like filler, which towards the end really got on my nerves Thenonsense was said, thefuming I got And to be honest, this book doesn t really contribute anything new or exiting about DeGeneres If you didn t read Seriously I m Kidding, you would know the same amount about the author by watching the talkshow.I personally haven t watched The Ellen Show in awhile, so the only thing that compelled me to pick this up was my feeling ill and desperately wanting to distract myself of it So I appreciate this readfor making me feel a little better rather than for its content.2.5 5 starsNote I m anAffiliate If you re interested in buying Seriously I m Kidding , just click on the image below to go through my link I ll make a small commission This review andcan be found on my blog I laughed out so hard, God i love Ellen You wanna read listen to an amusing little time waster and you like Ellen DeGeneres style of humor This is your book However, don t go into this expecting anything really substantial Some chapters are a couple of words, maybe a sentence long And while I adored some of the stories and was uplifted by the encouraging tone, that is where my biggest complaint is.I listened to this in 3 hours This is the absolute shortest audiobook I ve ever listened to and this goes for almost 30 retail You You wanna read listen to an amusing little time waster and you like Ellen DeGeneres style of humor This is your book However, don t go into this expecting anything really substantial Some chapters are a couple of words, maybe a sentence long And while I adored some of the stories and was uplifted by the encouraging tone, that is where my biggest complaint is.I listened to this in 3 hours This is the absolute shortest audiobook I ve ever listened to and this goes for almost 30 retail You could go to the movie theater for nearly 3 hours and pay less and probably have just as good or a better time.Of course, that probably sounds like I hated the book Not true Ellen is funny, in her own way, and she really is a good narrator I cracked a smile quite a few times and laughed a few others and I m not a big one to laugh while reading or listening to a book Ellen also doesn t just make jokes she s inspiring and uplifting, encouraging meditation, recycling, decluttering, spending time with family, getting regular health check ups, and.But I ll admit, after awhile it got old There are only so many uplifting messages I can take before it feels like I m being lectured to and there is nothing worse than to have someone tell you the life you re living with which you are quite content and are not harming anyone isn t nearly as good as X s Some jokes however didn t do it for me such as her joke on the 80% of graduates that are moving back with their parents because they are moochers no, not all of them are, it s the lack of jobs I also don t get the joke of hearing Ellen say things like mememememeee Really I paid 30 to hear Ellen say mememememe As for talking about her own life I know a lot has happened in Ellen s life I know this from Wiki and the news, certainly not from this book Sure, Ellen talks a bit about American Idol and her talk show and mentions Portia in passing But those references are few and far between, so keep your eyes and ears open or you are bound to miss it.All in all, while there are some really good parts, a lot of the 3 hours just felt like filler To give a comparison, at the end of Tina Fey s Bossypants, I felt I had learned a great deal about Fey and left wanting to watch 30 Rock After listening to this, I felt like I had finished eating cotton candy and was hungry for some real food I was super glad I had checked this out at the library I would have felt cheated for spending retail price on it.My recommendation is check this out from your library, see if you like it before spending nearly 30 on the audiobook or hardcover Or you are likely to be VERY disappointed.And because this book was so terribly short, I ll do the same and keep this review short too SeriouslyI m bored And shocked This audio is not well read by the author how is that even possible There is little affect, there are no pauses, and it seemed like even she was racing to get to the end The content was all over the place I really like Ellen and I ve always found her funny I guess her humor doesn t translate well to books for me Reading it for audio, it didn t seem like she found it funny, either Sadly, 1 star. When I was a little girl, my grandfather once told me that when he spoke in front of a group, he often began with, I know most people start their speeches with jokes, but I don t know any, so let s all think of our favorite joke and laugh This book reminded me a lot of that joke While I don t watch Ellen s talk show, I do really like her and have read her other books This one seems gratuitous One chapter is made up entirely of her making sounds As in, mememememeeme Or, bwabwabwa A fe When I was a little girl, my grandfather once told me that when he spoke in front of a group, he often began with, I know most people start their speeches with jokes, but I don t know any, so let s all think of our favorite joke and laugh This book reminded me a lot of that joke While I don t watch Ellen s talk show, I do really like her and have read her other books This one seems gratuitous One chapter is made up entirely of her making sounds As in, mememememeeme Or, bwabwabwa A few chapters are short, fictional stories, similar to A woman walks down the beach, and sees the waves Hello, waves END Several are meandering thoughts, a la her Nemo character Another handful of chapters are set in a faux meditation class, where she pretends to be your meditation teacher but only leads to you picking out the bothersome parts of your session Even she seems to realize it s sort of bland each chapter begins with her exaggerating the number chapter TENNNNNN chapter tweeeeenty FIVE , then launching into the text in a sort of bored voice If you re looking for interesting or humorous commentary on the world, on issues, on her life, this book is not for you If you need to kill 10 minutes at the bus stop each day, this could work Chapters I ve listened to since last posting Ellen ate an apple Crunch, crunch That s it A fake dream.Ellen saying, Yes, no, yes Yes, no Have you seen tumblr I don t mean the pretty pictures I mean this You get the point This is what Ellen s book is like It is filled with the most random, sparse and off tangent thoughts I ve ever had the opportunity to read Have you seen tumblr I don t mean the pretty pictures I mean this You get the point This is what Ellen s book is like It is filled with the most random, sparse and off tangent thoughts I ve ever had the opportunity to read