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FULL OWNVOICES REVIEW COMPREHENSIVE RECEIPTSTW homophobia, transphobia, lesbophobia, islamophobiaI wish I was gay because no gay person would ever be expected to be good at working out Except Bryan He s not really gay Of course he is, but he sBryan than he is gay, so he doesn t countYou re welcome, goodreads I wanted to stop reading this many times over but I told myself I had to finish it so that I would have the full story and would be able to make complete judgements FULL OWNVOICES REVIEW COMPREHENSIVE RECEIPTSTW homophobia, transphobia, lesbophobia, islamophobiaI wish I was gay because no gay person would ever be expected to be good at working out Except Bryan He s not really gay Of course he is, but he sBryan than he is gay, so he doesn t countYou re welcome, goodreads I wanted to stop reading this many times over but I told myself I had to finish it so that I would have the full story and would be able to make complete judgements I finished this so that other queer teens don t have to Welcome to hell, aka this book The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy tells the story of Zee and Art, 2 teens who are presumed to be gay based on the way they present themselves however, they both feel as though they re straight and then they fall into a queer platonic relationship with each other which eventually morphs into a romantic relationship Then they experiment and realize that they re not so straight after all If this were all the book was, maybe I would have liked itI can definitely see how this book was TRYING to break stereotypes, but you know what it Failed It Tried and it Failed Epically.Do you ever read a book and think that there is no way that this could be so problematic without trying I m gonna go through and break down every issue I had with this book, receipts included.Homophobia.I have a genuine question Am I supposed to like Art Because I really would, if he weren t the most homophobic little sh t I ve ever met That quote at the beginning That s from Mr Arthur Adams here He s literally such a homophobe and he treats his best friend SO awfully He knows that Bryan has had a crush on him for YEARS, and he seriously leads him on so f cking much it s despicable.There s one scene where he says,I m finding you attractive for the first time ever,and then,I submit You can kiss me,AS A JOKE TO HIS BEST FRIEND WHO HAS LIKED HIM FOR YEARS.And I know he apologizes for it when Bryan doesn t find it funny, but it s still so gross Here s another fun part where Art describes Bryan s life Bryan is an only child, so he gets whatever he wants New car New clothes New video games and computers and a credit card he can use to buy whatever food he wants whenever he wants He s so lucky His life would be perfect if I was his boyfriend and his parents stopped pretending he wasn t gay So maybe it all equals out Yeah, no.This book also,,,, really does dirty its other canon gay character, Jayden Jayden is a creep and a stalker He s constantly texting Art, and he even Freaking Dresses up in the same outfit as Zee to try and get Art to like him That s so creepy and I reaaaaaaalllllllyyyyy hate that this gay character and the lesbian characteron her later are both written so awfully I m so sick of the predatory gay trope NextPeople have kids so they can delude themselves into believing they have cheated death and are now immortal SO do you know what happens when two people have one child and that one child is gay The delusion of immortality dies IT IS MURDERED BY GAY CHILDREN And when the delusion of immortality dies, a part of them feels like they re already dead That s why my parents and other parents are terrified their kids are gay All the church, religious, moral stuff is just a bunch of bolognaI don t even,,,, this is homophobia AND transphobia and I m just,,,, how do writers come up with this sh t I live in a very religious household and my parents are extremely homophobic and saying that they re really homophobic because gay kids can t pass on their genes uwu is just gross and wrong and invalidates SO many lgbt youth s experiences with religiously homophobic relatives Also, saying thatThe delusion of immortality IS MURDERED BY GAY CHILDREN,is literally so offensive I kind of felt like it was trying to joke that it s not the parents faults that they re homophobic their gay kids are literally MURDERING their dreams Because it s not like LGBT children whose parents reject them are waylikely to commit suicide than the ones who accept them And it s not like there s parents out there who have murdered or kicked out their children for being gay But the kids are the ones who are murdering their parents dreams Lmao ok That s BSWe were gender and sexually fluid before it was cool because we didn t do it to be cool we did it to be who we truly areHonestly I am so sick of this trope where cishets think that queer people just say they re queer because they think it s cool I think my mom Penelope Alvarez says it best in One Day At a Time when she sys yeah, she wants the sweet taste of oppression because being a teenager isn t difficult enough We aren t saying we re gay to be part of the trend or whatever, we say it because it s WHO WE ARE, Acting like it s anything other than that obviously shows that this book has a huge misunderstanding on what it s like to be a queer person, especially a queer teenager or kid, in modern day Jesus Christ Lesbophobia.Y all,,, why tf am I even surprised The lesbophobia in this book is so gross but I guess that s what I get for reading a book with wlw that s not written by a wlw I literally don t even know how to start, so I m just going to jump right in with a quote This is Art talking about ZeeI m sure everyone at school thinks she s boring or ugly or a lesbian, but she transcends beauty She s androgynous but not in an unsexy waydo you guys understand how done I am with men who call masculine girls ugly And saying that androgyny is, as a whole, unsexy in case you were wondering, the answer is so done I don t care if Art is an mlm, it s misogyny and lesbophobia and tbh I m sick of it Also what s with putting the word lesbian with boring and ugly I know it sounds like I m being really nitpicky but after nineteen years of my life having to deal with people calling real life lesbians like me boring and ugly, esp if we re gnc, it just isn t fun Moving onI also might be trying to decide if I m really a lesbian or maybe I just really like Iris or maybe I just really hate Cam and he s making me a lesbianI really thought that we were past these jokes but cishets are still doing this sh t in the year of our lord and savior 2018 I m so sick of the trope where straight girls are like I wish I was gay or saying that,, hating a guy so much must make them gay I don t know I get that these homophobic lesbophobic things that Zee and Art say in this book are supposed to be jokes and it s supposed to make them quirky, but as someone who has had to live their entire life hearing these jokes, and sometimes they re not jokes, it s really annoying, jarring, and awful to read this stuff in a book that s supposed to be breaking down walls in the LGBT community These jokes aren t funny for people who have had to live with this crap our entire lives lmao And now for the doozy of all doozies, Iris s confession when she and Zee were having their sleepover The only word that I can think of that describes my emotions when I read this, is yucky It s just yucky It was so gross and made me feel so bad and angry and GOD I m just gonna put the quote in I m putting it under a spoiler tag not because it s a spoiler, but in case any reader just doesn t even want to read it and wants to scroll past It s also very nsfw You have been warned Here goes view spoilerI ll tell you one of my secrets that I ve told no one Not even Pen She pauses again, giggles Yeah Oh my god, I m so nervous I just told you stuff that s got to be stranger than anything you could possibly tell me I find what you said very normal compared to my secret, but we re probably just all terrified of our own secret stuff Good point Okay, here I go Iris takes a deep breath, When Stacy and I when she would be, doingdown thereShe lowered her eyes towards her lap I got it She was great at it, she broke my heart, but she was great at thatbut I couldn t finish, you knowI got it I couldn t finish unless I imagined a boy wasIris did this tiny thrust, with her tiny giggle,you knowI knowhide spoiler Y all I really can t make this sh t up like what the hell was that And just for frame of reference Iris is the ONLY O N L Y lesbian character in the ENTIRE novel I don t even have the time to say how wrong this is BUT it s gonna bug me if I don t Also I don t want people asking me what s so wrong about this because I want to get it all out there and then never have to think of this book or this scene for the rest of my mother effin lifeThis scene was offensive to me as a woman, and offensive to me as a lesbian It fulfills the belief held by a lot of gross cishet men that lesbians actually like men lesbians can be turned Iris had no character development past being a lesbian, and this was one of very few scenes where she hadthan one or two speaking lines Iris existed solely to show that not even lesbians are 100% gay 11 11 1 and that just sucks If Iris had not been the only lesbian character, maybe I would have felt differently If this book was written by a queer woman, maybe I would have felt differently But the fact of the matter is, this book is written by a man Iris is the only lesbian character This scene was gross, it was unneeded, and I have no idea if the author was trying to portray a lesbian s struggle with compulsory heterosexuality, but if that s what this was, then it was done horribly.Because of the rest of the book, I m going to assume that this scene wasn t intended to show comp het This was intended to show that some but, in this case, ALL of the book s lesbians aren t actually all the way gay, and that they can be turned Iris is the only gay character out of Jayden and Bryan too who is shown to be not 100% gay, and because she is a lesbian and not a gay man, this has misogynistic and lesbophobic connotations.Biphobia.Yanno, for a book that supposedly prides itself on having characters that are experimenting and fluid in their sexual orientations, there is a surprising amount of biphobia in here Some of this falls intoof the realm of Carry On s biphobia and no I m not going to go into that here use google if you don t know what I m talking about , and some of it was a lotmalicious Let s start with the bi erasure This book utterly refuses to say the words bisexual or bi It just doesn t And yes I know it says it once once but it s never Zee or Art considering that label for themselves And I m not angry that Zee and Art didn t settle with the bi labels, I m angry that they never considered it as an option This book spends a lot of time treating sexuality as black and white, gay and straight, and even when it starts to look atof the gray areas, the words bi or pan are never used Zee and Art are basically like, hey I just discovered this new thing,,, what if,,, I liked girls,,, AND GUYS and it s like, yeah, guys, that s called bisexuality.They never once even consider the labels, and this novel treats bisexuality like a new thing, when it s been around as long as people have.Next Here s a quote about IrisIris isn t a cheerleader and she doesn t have a mean boyfriend And if there are nerds pining after her, they are wasting their time because she likes girls And if you like girls, you don t like boys no matter how much of your homework they doand this is supposed to be a book that treats sexuality as a gray area Not Jayden is also,,,, HELLA biphobic Here s a quote I fall almost every single time for boys that also love girls and their stupid amazing girl parts I can never compete with I only feign drama with you because well, mostly because I m great at feigning drama but also because I want to trick you into liking only boys so that I can solve all my father issues through our relationship ohhhh my goddd is this dude even real Is he even freaking real Wtf Let s get this out of the way bi men are just as capable of loving a man as fully as a gay man can Bi women are just as capable of loving a woman as fully as a lesbian can Saying stuff like this is biphobic and supports the incorrect idea that bi people are always going to be giving only half of their heart in a relationship with any one person TransphobiaOnce again, for a book that really tries to include themes of gender fluidity and gender non conformity, and for a book that includes a canon trans character, there is still a really huge emphasis on genitals gender I put this quote in the homophobia section but Imma remind you of it again while I talk about the transphobic aspects of it oPeople have kids so they can delude themselves into believing they have cheated death and are now immortal SO do you know what happens when two people have one child and that one child is gay The delusion of immortality dies IT IS MURDERED BY GAY CHILDREN And when the delusion of immortality dies, a part of them feels like they re already dead That s why my parents and other parents are terrified their kids are gay All the church, religious, moral stuff is just a bunch of bolognaY all realize that trans lgb people exist right Like, gay couples could potentially biologically have children if one of the people in the relationship were trans not all trans people are straight so stop acting like they are.Next quote oGenitals and gender are too sex focusedHere s another quote that just made me mad because my interpretation of this quote is that the author book is inferring that there is something inherently sexual about gender Notice how people only say that about trans kids and never about cis kids Stop saying that focusing on gender is sex focused because it isn t It s about identity and finding out who you really are, whether you be cis or trans Acting like it s an inherently sexual characteristic is a double standard and only encourages the people who say that trans people, including trans children, shouldn t be around cis kids This book also really finds a crap ton of ways to not say the word nonbinary For a book that is supposed to be about gender fluidity, either it wasn t well enough researched or there s some real enbyphobia happening here This isn t a book about two teens realizing they re nonbinary or even about two teens experimenting with the term nonbinary, because it never mentions the word Maybe the ending was supposed to be like, It s up to the reader s interpretation on whether Zee and Art are nb or not and if that s the case, then that s sh t Your representation for nonbinary people doesn t count for anything if you re not going to say the word or confirm that they are nb As a nonbinary person myself, I feel misled by the reviews and blurb of this book that implied that Zee and Art would be experimenting with their gender identities, because they weren t And in case you re wondering just how far this book stretched to not say nonbinary, here s a picture of the last page where the book reaches out to the reader.o WHAT THE HELL DOES SUPER GENDERED MEAN LITERALLY WHAT THE F CK Not only is that the wrong part of speech just like you would say transgender, and not transgendered, as using trans supergender as a verb makes it sound like it s something that happens to us, rather than our own identity , but it s NOT EVEN A REAL WORD This sounds like something that a cis person would say to make fun of the trans community and I Hate It Racism and Islamophobia.In this book, Zee reconnects with her dad who she had never met before Zee s dad is Muslim And Zee is immediately like WHOOP HE S A TERRORIST wait is that racist OH WELL IDEC Here s a quoteI tell Art how I think my dad is probably a terrorist and that I m definitely a racist a hole for thinking he s a terrorist He s not a terrorist, Zee Wait till you see himYeah,,,,, no I talked about how awful Art is, and this is the other main character who we re supposed to love and support This book is a f cking joke And if that weren t enough, when Zee finally comes around and realizes that her dad is not a terrorist which this book totally glosses over by the way Zee never apologizes in the narrative for stereotyping him she and Art start calling the money that Zee s dad gives them to live off of drug money No joke This book fuels racist and islamophobic stereotypes in much of the way that it does with the homophobic transphobic stereotypes by treating it as though it s a joke , with the main characters saying whatever they want and never actually feeling bad for it That makes this book harmful to Muslims, people of color, and the lgbt community, and it s not f cking funny So that s the five main problems I had with this book, but just wait, there sLet s talk about some of the smaller things that I had issues with Zee goes through Art s phone, without his permission, when he s in the bathroom She never apologizes for this Girl hate Abby is painted as psychotic bitch, and Zee says sh t like,I m soooooo much smarter andinteresting andbeautiful than herWhy tf is everyone wearing Zee s clothes Zee says Iris is wearing the same shirt that Art bought her, Art says that Jayden is wearing the same pants as Zee Am I missing some sort of symbolism here I mentioned this briefly before, but this book makes a lot of jokes about gay people being gay just because it s cool or whatever, and I m still not over it Being gay is cool now and it s so much easier than being straight Duh it s the straighties that are oppressed now this is sarcasm So there you have it This book sucks I feel like a lot of the crap in this book was meant to be read as a joke , but if your jokes are enforcing incorrect stereotypes about oppressed people, you re not subverting any tropes here You re reinforcing them drops mic (((DOWNLOAD))) ↸ The Handsome Girl & Her Beautiful Boy ⇻ Everyone assumes that Zee is a lesbian Her classmates, her gym buddies, even her so called best friend So many people think that Zee likes girls, even Zee is starting to wonder Could they be onto something Everyone assumes that Art is gay They take one look at his nice clothes and his pretty face and think well, obviouslyBut there s to Zee and Art than anyone realizes When Art first meets Zee, he knows he s found someone special someone magical Zee may not be able to see that magic in herself, but Art is bound and determined to show it to herWhat develops is a powerful connection between two people who are beautiful in all the ways they ve been told are strange As they explore their own complexities in gender, sexuality, and identity, they fall for the complexities they find in each other With his trademark frankness, BT Gottfred delves inside both characters heads in this story about love and living authentically Seeof my reviews on my blog the Book Deviant My review for this book ended up being 2k words long I don t want to post the whole thing here, so the beginning is just below When the full review is posted on my blog, I will update this review with a link Until then, official review below I originally found this book on NetGalley, but it was up for Wish for It I still wanted to read it, so I emailed the publisher and never got a response In a really desperate attempt, I put a note on m Seeof my reviews on my blog the Book Deviant My review for this book ended up being 2k words long I don t want to post the whole thing here, so the beginning is just below When the full review is posted on my blog, I will update this review with a link Until then, official review below I originally found this book on NetGalley, but it was up for Wish for It I still wanted to read it, so I emailed the publisher and never got a response In a really desperate attempt, I put a note on my review in Goodreads, asking if it was possible for a trans reviewer to get an ARC Lo and behold, I later got a message via Goodreads from author BT Gottfred, in which he asked me to fill out his contact form on his website, and he d forward my info to his publisher.Throughout our emailing, he was very nice and friendly, and by the end of our conversation, I can very well say that Gottfred wrote this book with good intentions, but I couldn t yet say if he wrote accurately About a month later, I got a physical ARC copy in the mail with a note from the publisher noting that the author had requested I was sent one Meaning that Gottfred had come through, that he wanted to know an OwnVoices opinion Unfortunately, that s where the majority of the Pros end I can say, wholeheartedly, that I would not recommend The Handsome Girl Her Beautiful Boy to teen readers, and even less so to queer readers It s made very obvious from the outside and summary of this book that Gottfred was attempting to challenge stereotypes by reiterating that being a feminine boy being gay, and being a masculine girl being a lesbian To do this, however, Gottfred utilized other,harmful stereotypes, specifically ones that made me question adult s sanity Do they really think we act like this Here s a link to my full review.Here s a link to my friend Rachel s review, which I highly recommend reading She discusses scenes that I didn t get to 3.25 This story is weird Really weird I kind of liked it, but I m also weirded out I do not recommend this to those people who complain about contemporaries not being realistic enough.The dialogue and internal monologue is pretty unrealistic Overall the story is written in a strange style Duo perspective from the 2 main characters Art and Zee The story switches back and forth between them in a first person perspective in very short chapters throughout the story In between a single scene t 3.25 This story is weird Really weird I kind of liked it, but I m also weirded out I do not recommend this to those people who complain about contemporaries not being realistic enough.The dialogue and internal monologue is pretty unrealistic Overall the story is written in a strange style Duo perspective from the 2 main characters Art and Zee The story switches back and forth between them in a first person perspective in very short chapters throughout the story In between a single scene their perspectives would switch giving both their thoughts on the situation which is why the style of this story is very unique.If you ve read the description of this book everyone thinks Art likes guys and Zee likes girls So for the first half of this book I was like what the fuck because they were both STRAIGHT AS FUCK So the main guy character Art looks feminine and is creative so apparently people assume he s gay The main girl character Zee doesn t like dressing girly, works out, and has short hair so that makes her a lesbian I was like what is this shit that doesn t actually happen in real life I read this because I thought the premise of this sounded really strange and crazy.So there s this weird turn in the 2nd half of the book where they both suddenly becomefluid in their sexualities and it s really strange because for the whole first half of the book they are extremely straight and now they are not.For the first part of the book Art was seriously EXTRA straight Besides the whole he s feminine thing the story was trying to push he was a super straight dude in every way If there was a straight to gay meter I would be straight and he would shoot beyond that point into the XTRA straight category and then every one would be pissed because he broke the damn meter.Zee was really straight too she was just in denial about liking Art The transition into the whole 2nd half of the book was pretty messy because it just went from 1 to 100 real quick I just don t understand how they both went from straight to fluid and it was not great Their romance starts as instalove from Art so I guess I shouldn t be surprised It does take a long time for Zee to actually like him so there s still a lot of build up.Art has this weird personality where he is extremely cocky and confident I would actually like him if he wasn t so strange He s super extra He s weird Really weird So Zee used Art for the first half of the book to make herself feel better about the negative things in her life while not actually liking him leading him on and that pissed me off because I think she s stupid for thinking she might be a lesbian just because other people think so How does that even work That s so stupid Also she keeps thinking he s gay for a while even thought he is absolutely obsessed with her and it really doesn t make any sense.The middle portion of this story is of them fucking in a motel.Yeah this is one of those weird concept stories like the one I read about the porn addict and this sure is weird so if that s what you want to read here you go My written interview with the author can be found here My written interview with the author can be found here The Handsome Girl Her Beautiful Girlby B.T Gottfred3.35 5 Stars This whole review contains spoilers.This book is definitely not you typical YA contemporary book, it deals with heavy issues death, health issues, sexuality, putting labels on people and it s kind of a coming of age form of a book, too This was one of the messiest books I ve read, but not in a bad way The weird thing is that this was a very strange story yet I liked it.So, a little about the story Everyone thinks Zee is a le The Handsome Girl Her Beautiful Girlby B.T Gottfred3.35 5 Stars This whole review contains spoilers.This book is definitely not you typical YA contemporary book, it deals with heavy issues death, health issues, sexuality, putting labels on people and it s kind of a coming of age form of a book, too This was one of the messiest books I ve read, but not in a bad way The weird thing is that this was a very strange story yet I liked it.So, a little about the story Everyone thinks Zee is a lesbian because she dresses like a tomboy and likes stuff boys like for example going to the gym or lifting weights etc And everyone also thinks that Art is gay because of his feminine style always wearing pristine clothes, using lotion every day and etc.Zee is in love with her bestfriend of six years Cam, and Art s bestfriend Bryan is in love with him The relationships in this book were so confusing I ll get to that part soon.So, Art is really sweet guy but annoying always making everything about him such an attention seeker like the word Drama Queen was made especially for him He was the definition of being extra.Bryan always using the word bitch , in every one of his sentence like dude take a chill pill, I m not joking that word was used 31 times in this book yes, most of them were used in Bryan s sentences and yes, I counted how many times that word was used.Writing style It was as if a 14 year old wrote it, I mean I get why the author did that because the main characters were teenagers It was very quirky and I liked it, as if you re in the teenagers minds However Art was constantly thinking that he was hilarious I mean sometimes he was but other times I was like OK dude we get it, you re funny stop repeating it over and over again.Literally every guy in this book cried Was there anyone in this book who hasn t cried The answer is no Seriously the boys criedthan the girls Whenever one of them started crying I was like But I loved the whole idea and the concept of the story in general, putting labels on people is wrong, just let them be or live how they like, we shouldn t judge people based on their appearance or how they dress.Relationships I wasn t fully convinced on Art and Zee s relationship, Art fell in love with Zee the second he saw her, but I wasn t buying it, he was just obsessed with the idea of being in love with her and another thing that bothered me was that Zee is older than Art that is always a minus for me, I don t like when the girl is older than the guy, especially if they re in a relationship That s just my personal opinion, though.But the whole relationships were so messy, the main characters were with different people every time Art loves Zee, Zee loves Cam, Cam loves Abby Art s sister who later on starts dating her ex boyfriend, Bryan loves Art and then forgets about his undying love for Art the minute he starts dating Taylor, and Jayden his was the weirdest, he knows Art is in love with Zee so he starts dressing up like Zee to make Art love him and Art likes it Oh, and Zee starts liking a girl named Iris or that s how she thinks that, then she crushes on another boy, and Cam dumps Abby for Zee because he saw Zee wearing girly clothes You see my point and why I was extremly confused with all these Like, who likes who Who s dating who It was strange.One of the things I really enjoyed in this book was the acknowledgment and the author s note that was one of the best parts of the book There are a lot of stories in the YA LGBTQ genre Almost all of them feature characters that have queer identities that fall clearly under some category in the LGBTQ spectrum The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy is for all the kids who don t fit in any category This is about the non binary kids who defy labels in order to be their most authentic selves The thing I love most about any book by B.T Gottfred is the characters This time we are following the story of Art and Zee Art is a f There are a lot of stories in the YA LGBTQ genre Almost all of them feature characters that have queer identities that fall clearly under some category in the LGBTQ spectrum The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy is for all the kids who don t fit in any category This is about the non binary kids who defy labels in order to be their most authentic selves The thing I love most about any book by B.T Gottfred is the characters This time we are following the story of Art and Zee Art is a feminine boy and Zee is a masculine girl Both of them are kind of misfits and when they re together it just works He s the yin to her yang essentially The story follows their rather unique love story Even if I don t necessarily always have anything in common with the characters there is always something about all these kids that s still universal and endears me to them Anyone who has ever been a teenager can relate to the inherent awkwardness that comes with teenage or for the most part adult ones as well relationships The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy is adorable and fluffy at times and in others it s deep and thought provoking Sometimes it s funny and sometimes it s sad Just as the story isn t necessarily only one kind of story, Art and Zee aren t only one thing We are watching two kids figure out who they are without having to put a label on it I think the whole idea here is that when you remove all the expectations that society put on your personality, you really can find out who you truly are and who you get to share it with P.S Art is the manic pixie dream boy of my soul and I love him intensely There was one thing that aggravated me to no end while reading this book That was the almost complete and utter lack of acknowledgement that bisexuality was a thing that existed WARNING minor spoilers Aside from just the obvious issues with that, it also didn t make sense with how the rest of the story was written A trans character is acknowledged The term sexually fluid is used There s even a part where a character talks about knowing people who like both guys and girls But for so There was one thing that aggravated me to no end while reading this book That was the almost complete and utter lack of acknowledgement that bisexuality was a thing that existed WARNING minor spoilers Aside from just the obvious issues with that, it also didn t make sense with how the rest of the story was written A trans character is acknowledged The term sexually fluid is used There s even a part where a character talks about knowing people who like both guys and girls But for some unknown reason they all don t know what bisexual is What Most of this seems to be for the plot The whole am I gay or straight debate is a focus throughout the book So, despite it feeling awkward and unrealistic, I let it go with the assumption that it would eventually be brought up towards the end with a big discovery coming out moment Then the word is finally brought up by one of the characters who has been having the whole am I gay or straight debate It s not a discovery moment It s used flippantly as if he always knew the term Sentence being No other straight or even bisexual teenage boy in the world would be just as happy holding a girl all night as he would be getting naked This is the same character who earlier stated everything s so confusing when you re gay and in love with a girl Yet who also apparently knows what bisexuality is, at least vaguely It makes zero sense to me It bothered me throughout the majority of the book, which was annoying because it would have been an okay read otherwise There s also things said like who s the boy with two boys , slut shaming, homophobic terms, a LOT of biphobia, a lot of talk of gender norms in connection to sexuality, sex scenes occur, and some violence Again, disappointing especially since the author himself claimed the book as exploring issues of gender and sexuality Aside from all of that the story was interesting It took a lot of unexpected turns, the characters were thought out, it brought up a lot of confusing thoughts that some teens face despite not fully addressing them , and it was funny The ending feltnot quite there for me I didn t like the usage of caps to represent screaming I did enjoy the addition of charts and text messages to go along with some parts of the story Overall This book was an interesting idea and had a real oppurtunity to be something great addressing the topic of gender sexuality I just feel that it missed it s mark I m sure everyone at school thinks she s boring or ugly or a lesbian, but she transcends beauty She s androgynous but not in an unsexy way DNFI m sure everyone at school thinks she s boring or ugly or a lesbian, but she transcends beauty She s androgynous but not in an unsexy way DNF I love this book so muchOkayThere are a lot of things i dont like about this book but there is a lotthat i like about itThe way it addresses sexuality and toxic masculinity just makes my heart go soft.Art and rebecca just make me so in love with themThe way art is soft but yet strong and confident in himSelf just makes me smile there is this part where he says everyone is gay, even the homophobic people he isbyran than he is gay that makes me think of how someone is just themselv I love this book so muchOkayThere are a lot of things i dont like about this book but there is a lotthat i like about itThe way it addresses sexuality and toxic masculinity just makes my heart go soft.Art and rebecca just make me so in love with themThe way art is soft but yet strong and confident in himSelf just makes me smile there is this part where he says everyone is gay, even the homophobic people he isbyran than he is gay that makes me think of how someone is just themselves and notgay than themselves I love the way death and loss was dealt with in this book and its just amazingI was confused but enlightened at the same time.Love has no definition and this book is a great example of that