~READ BOOK ☾ The Lie ♡ A candid memoir of denial, stolen identities, betrayal, faking it, and coming out Do you know me , the email began, sparking tremors of fear that turned into a full quake of panic when William Dameron discovered that his selfie had been stolen by strangers On social networks and dating sites, his image and identity a forty year old straight white male had been used to hook countless women into believing in lies of love and romance Was it all an ironic cosmic joke Almost a decade prior, William himself had been living a lie that had lasted forthan twenty years His secret He was a gay man, a fact he hid from his wife and two daughters for almost as long as he had hidden it from himself.In this emotional and unflinchingly honest memoir of coming out of the closet late in life, owning up to the past, and facing the future, William Dameron confronts steroid addiction, the shame and homophobia of his childhood, the sledgehammer of secrets that slowly tore his marriage apart, and his love for a gay father of three that would once again challenge the boundaries of trust At the true heart of The Lie is a universal story about turning self doubt into self acceptance and about pain, anger, and the long journey of both seeking and giving forgiveness.
This book was so well written, so compelling that I read it in a single reading on a cross country flight The writing is so clear and beautiful that I never had to stop and re read or try to figure out what the author was trying to say The struggle is heartbreaking and the love that the author feels for his family comes shining through This is a book for anyone who wants to know if it is ever too late to become your true self, if the risk is worth the pain At least in this author s case, it was, and he also gave us this stunning debut. A beautiful, compassionate, and achingly honest memoir about coming out later in life Just gorgeous. Incredible It s always hard for me to choose between the monthly Kindle first read pre release book selections It s my monthly gift from prime, so I carefully peruse each description, weigh the number of pages I do love a long book , and try to guess which one I should read This despite the fact that I get multiple free books every day and have an unread Kindle stack in the tens of thousandsbut I digress Anyway Rarely does a book just jump out and make the choice for me but this month, that s exactly what happened I got to the 6th offering, The Lie , and knew immediately I needed to read this book despite its slim 266 pages, haha I got it and yesterday, I read it This book is so incredibly moving William Dameron tells the story of his life as a father and husband with a heavy, personal world destroying secret he s gay Somewhere inside he s always known, but societal and family pressure along with that soul eating inner fear of possibly not being loved and accepted for who he really is conspire to steal his real life from him.As his story unfolds, events transpire that pull his true identity out into the open and it s beautifully, messily painful as life always is At times I cried because he judged himself so harshly I wanted to reach out and tell him to be kinder to himself, but as his story continued, I saw that his redemption was exactly as it needed to be He needed that honesty, he needed to strip himself bare and begin his new life with no lies to himself or others He needed to speak and live his truth.Reading his memoir and being able to watch and feel alongside him as he vanquished the lie that had ruled his life was an incredible journey People are rarely this introspective, let alone this honest I felt so honored to be able to see so deeply into someone s storyand his detailing of raw emotional loss, interwoven with his uncensored joy once he began living his real, true life Well, that s why you need to read this book His southernsoftbutbrutal honesty makes you think about what s important, and why It encourages self awareness, makes you take stock of your life and do that quick soul inventory, to think about whether you re living honestly It might make you cry, but for me it was good, cleansing happy tears I was so proud of this man I ve never even met.Even if introspection isn t your usual game, in honor of Pride Month, I encourage you to read this absolutely extraordinary memoir You won t be sorry This was a beautifully written book I felt very close to all the characters and could feel their emotions Bill Dameron is a middle aged man, who finally comes out of the closet He has a wife and 2 beautiful children which he adores Try as he might, he cannot suppress his true feelings This book takes us on Bill s journey to finally face his true self and then the revelation of the truth to his family and friends Bill knew at a young age that he was gay, but society was not accepting of alternate lifestyles He marries, has children and tries to suppress his true character I felt much emotion as I traveled with Bill and felt the pressure and the pain he felt, as well as, the sadness that his wife experienced The children were equally affected when their father revealed what he had been hiding for all these years Many emotions were portrayed before Bill finally found his peace The prose in this book is stunning In conclusion, no matter what your stance is on or alternate lifestyles, this book is just beautiful I cried and felt the pain of everyone involved.Thanks, NetGalley for providing this book in exchange for my honest opinion All opinions are my own.You may view my reviews at I m a beginner and it is under construction Any suggestions are welcomed. Beautifully heartbreaking I generally hate any type of memoir, or really anything other than fiction I chose this book because I am a divorce attorney and have been involved in cases much like Mr Dameron s divorce, where one spouse came out years into a marriage I have always thought it was selfish of the spouse not the divorce so much but that they married the other person in the first place, then went on to have children He had to have known Why use the other person in this way Mr Dameron s book did just what I hoped it would it gave me a different perspective on those questions Mr Dameron s honesty is evident and he does not gloss over the pain he caused, but he explains how a thousand tiny steps sometimes leads us to a place we just aren t meant to be Thank you for helping me grow, Mr Dameron. I loved everything about this memoir A story about the author coming out in later life after a very long marriage and two teenage daughters You shift back in forth throughout different time periods in his life, but I never felt lost or confused I was completely enthralled throughout the entire book Even though it s a topic I don t know very much about, it felt so real Just like a great memoir should be William Dameron definitely knows how to write well and has a knack for details Book won in a Goodreads Giveaway Excellent writing and a compelling story. William DameronFortysomething William Dameron Bill had been married to his wife Katherine for twenty years when she confronted him in a Walmart parking lot Just park the car now Bill, she said I have to ask you this, or I m afraid I never will Are you gay I don t want to be , Bill replied And his deeply held secret was finally out in the open.In this memoir, Dameron shares the experience of coming out as a married father of two, a man who was devoted to his family, but unable to go on living a lie Katherine probably had a feeling Bill was gay for years During a rocky time in their relationship, when the couple went to a marriage counselor, Katherine mentioned, Sex has been a semiannual event for years, Bill You know I need you to initiate it In response, Bill said Remember that night, two weeks ago when I asked you , though Bill knew he had purposely chosen a night when Katherine was too tired.Bill s sexual preference became obvious shortly before he came out, when he developed a man crush on a handsome, heterosexual, married co worker named Enzo Bill recalls that he and Enzo would go out for drinks and tell jokes and Enzo offered up his friendship readily, in a way I had never experienced with a man before When Bill made one too many comments about Enzo to Katherine, she shrewdly observed, Another story about Enzo You re so infatuated with him The couple s daughters, Sophie and Marisa, may have sensed something as well Bill was trying on shirt after shirt for a boys night out with Enzo, when Marisa noted, Aw, Dad s got a bromance going on..an observation Bill hotly denied.After becoming friends with Enzo Bill also became a gym rat, adding muscles and pounds to his previously slim frame in hopes his pal would notice To assist his bulking up Bill used illegal steroids, secretly injecting himself in the basement Katherine s discovery of Bill s hidden stash of drugs led to an ugly scene in which Katherine, Sophie, and Marisa ALL confronted him, horrified and disappointed All this may have led to Katherine s gay question in the Walmart parking lot, and Bill s admission after which the couple separated and divorced This was hard on Bill, who felt ashamed about the fraud he d perpetrated on his family, especially Katherine who was unmoored and deeply hurt Bill knew he was gay from an early age, but growing up in conservative North Carolina with a Catholic mother who disdained homosexuals made him deny his essential self Bill s mother sensed his leanings, and would say things like, Don t put your hands on your hips like that It look effeminate Those flip flops make you look effeminate Eventually, when Bill s mom feared her teenage son might come out as gay, she said It s disgusting is what it is There is nothing natural about it Let s pray And Bill s mother repeated this sort of thing on a regular basis.Bill as a young manBill was well and truly scared He writes Fear of eternal damnation, the fear of ridicule, the fear of being labeled a faggot and being beaten to a bloody pulp as I had seen happen to classmates.had created a fear and internal homophobia so great that it eclipsed all others Seeing his brothers happy with their girlfriends, Bill saw redemption, a way forward So, after a few aborted experiences with boys, Bill started seeing Katherine, and when Bill was 23 and Katherine was 22 they married The union wasn t always easy, however, in part because Katherine had issues of her own she was an adoptee, and fretted about being given up by her birth mother she couldn t bear Bill coming home a few minutes late, let alone going away for a business trip or training she thought their house was haunted by spirits she developed a mysterious illness with pains in her joints and shortness of breath that required a hospital stay and Was any of this related to a subconscious inkling of Bill s secret Who knows But Katherine s referring to a gay male nurse as a faggot may have been a hint When Bill and Katherine separated, Katherine moved to Virginia with Sophie and Marisa, and Bill remained in Massachusetts, where the family had been living Bill s coming out was a step by step process He came out to family and friends made new gay friends went for counseling got professional therapy attended support groups began dating etc Bill rented a basement apartment in this house from two lesbians, Linda and Debra, who became his very good friends.Bill feared he d never find love, and had some hiccups on the way to this hoped for goal At length Bill met a dreamboat named Paul, and their courtship was touching and a bit fraught.like a teenage romance Bill right and PaulMeanwhile, Bill felt guilty about the suffering he d inflicted on Katherine He admits, I took what was not mine Katherine s love, trust, and hope were her most valuable assets, and I squandered them This is perhaps the most unfair thing about a beard marriage , the damage it inflicts on the unknowing partner.Though the marriage was over, Bill wanted to remain close to Sophie and Marisa Thus he traveled south for holidays and flew down once or twice a month to spend time with the girls He remembers, I tried to cram hundreds of hours into a precious forty eight hour window Bill with his daughters, Marisa left and SophieBill writes a great deal about his family his philandering father who ran off with another woman his affection for Katherine, and their troubled marriage raising his daughters Marisa and Sophie through the years the family s beloved dog Maggie his three brothers one of whom never came to terms with Bill s homosexuality his mother s eventual acceptance of his sexual preference and.In the end, Bill s mother told him I was wrong Being gay is normal, a part of your genetic legacy Bill, can you ever forgive me Bill takes this opportunity to discuss forgiveness, and how his entire family was learning to walk the long, rocky road of forgiveness Though much has changed for gay people over the years, Bill acknowledges that he still sometimes lies, to strangers, acquaintances, and people I ve just met, because the world is a brutal place for queer people There are times when safety trumps honesty This is an inspirational story with a happily ever after Still, Bill pleads, We are not the first generation of queer people who have found themselves trapped in a straight marriage, but please God, let us be the last Fingers crossed.Bill left and PaulAll people both LGBTQ and straight can learn something from Bill s story.Thanks to Netgalley, the author William Dameron , and the publisher Little A for a copy of the book.You can follow my reviews at Wow I really didn t expect to love this book, but I had bronchitis and had nothing else to do This is a raw, clear thinking, emotionally honest book about living with a secret so suppressed that the author s whole life was in many ways a lie Or was it Bill loved his wife and adored his girls That much is absolutely true, but he had sacrificed his true self while building a life that was essentially a lie The author s willingness to be totally honest about the pain he caused in ending his lie is only surpassed by the love and charity he is willing to give to those he loves and his ability to finally accept love from another Read this book